Man, I Was Thirsty

I am not going to lie, I have been thirsty for some time and this past weekend, I got to drink from His fountain and boy, it was so refreshing.  I needed it.  I went into this weekend begging to hear from Him and He spoke and I would like to share with you what He said because I firmly believe some of you could be encouraged as well. There were 5 phrases that He brought to mind.  I did something that I've never done though, I decided to meet with Him without anything.  No Bible.  No music.  No phone.  Just a journal and a pen...and silence.  Ummm, a little intimidating to say the least, but I am so thankful for that time with Him.  I was also reflecting from a book that I had just finished up as well.

Phrase 1 - TRUST ME - sitting in silence on Friday night, He and I came to this place of trust.  From a depth of love, He asked me, "Do you trust me?  I mean, really trust me?  Do you trust me enough to let things go that you cling onto because you think you have control over them, but really they have control over you and steal the joy that I want you to have.  Trust me!  Stop wasting your time and energy on things that are not kingdom worthy.  Trust me!  Do you think I don't know what you are going through?  Do you think that I am bigger than those issues?  If so, let them go, and trust me!".

Phrase 2 - WALK WITH ME - August 6, 2015 I encountered Jesus is a way that I had never encountered Him before.  He spoke to me from John 21 and honestly, my journey with Him has not  been the same since.  He spoke to me these 5 words, many of you would remember these..."what is that to you."  Well, this time it was the next three words that follow those 5 words, "you follow me."  In that moment, I heard my Savior say to me, "JT, I just want you to walk with me.  I don't want you thinking of what you need to do or things that you aren't doing, I just want to walk with you."  Just walk with me...nothing else.  Why do I always feel the need to do something?  I think I was reminded that He wants me, just me.  He has no other expectation from me.  But we both know that in a healthy right relationship with Him, WE WILL ACT but out of love, not out of duty.  So right now, He is just asking me to walk with Him.

Phrase 3 - BE STILL - He then brought to mind John 20, the disciples are behind locked doors because their world has just been turned upside down by the death of Jesus.  They are all huddled together hiding out when Jesus appears to them in His resurrection form and guess what He says to them, "Peace be with you.".  At this point, it is very late on Friday night and all I could do was laugh.  Come on Jesus, easy enough for you to say, right?  Except, all I know is the here and now, but Jesus knows it all.  So, He says peace.  That led me to Psalm 46:10 - "Be still and know that I am God."  Or Psalm 37:7 - "Be still in His Presence and wait patiently for Him to act."  Peace.  In fact, read all of Psalm 37, so good.  He just asks me to learn the art of being still before Him.

Phrase 4 - JUST DO WHAT'S NEXT - I get a bit overwhelmed with my future.  What do you want me to do Lord?  The season I am in cannot be what you desire for me, but instead of letting my anxious thoughts control me around my future, He just simply encouraged me to just do what is next.  That led me to Psalm 119. I couldn't remember the actual verse but it says, "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."  This is the image that came to mind as I pondered those thoughts.  When you are in a dark season trying to move forward, you don't shine the light in the air or even in front of you, but you shine the light down by your feet.  But the Lord reminded me that I have a tendency to skip a step or two.  I could shine my light down on the next step, but the reflection of the light catches a stone maybe two steps ahead of me and guess what I do?  I jump or take a big step to speed things up, but He is saying, just take the next step.  No more big strides...no more jumps.  Just do what is next.  "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet (just do what's next) and a light unto my path (just do what's next)"  No more and no less.

Phrase 5 - MY LOVE WILL NEVER LET YOU GO - So now it is late Saturday night and at this point, I wanted so badly to worship with music, so I went old school and listened to a song that was mysteriously (only Jesus) playing in my head.  So I went to Robbie Seay Band and played that specific song.  It then dawned on me that this is a hymn, which then led me on a trail of learning the history of the hymn.  At this point, as I am listening to the song a 3rd time, my mind was blown.  My emotions were flowing as I was screaming the lyrics out loud with Robbie Seay and the hymn writer, George Matheson.  And in that moment, it was like Jesus sealed up the package with a bow that simply said, "My love will never let you go.".  Which led me to remember the promise of Romans 8:38-39 - "and I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love...NOTHING."  

So there it was, Jesus satisfied my thirst with His desires for me in this season:  Trust Him.  Walk With Him.  Be Still.  Do What's Next.  His Love Won't Let Me Go.  Man, I was thirsty for Him and He gave me a drink.  If you are thirsty friend, consider this blog a cup of water I offer you in the Name of Jesus.  As I pray over this cup, please feel free to share with anyone who you know that might be thirsty today.

Here is the song - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KUBw0B6RdBQ

Peace!

Huh, God is big!

Can I say this?  God is becoming bigger to me than I ever thought possible!  No one understands me!  I think the biggest challenge about me is that no one really understands me and frankly, i don't I understand myself.   I'm sure if we were to ask people about me, there would be quite a range of answers and some I wouldn't even want to know, but here is where I am today, He understands me through and through friends, that is all that matters to me.  No no no, for real!  He understands me so much so that He keeps pushing through my darkness to let His light shine and guess what happens to darkness when light shines?  It runs away.  Here is the most amazing part, it isn't anything that I am doing, but it is Him shining His light in my life because that is who He is and because of that, He is becoming bigger to me than I ever thought possible!  I love Jesus more than ever and today I realized that my love for Him is still at the base of the mountain, and that I haven't even begin to journey up toward His peak...mind blown.  There is so much more for me and we, to experience about the depth of God's love for us.  Don't ever stop going after the heart of Jesus...please please please.

So my only commitment to 2019 was to stay committed to reading His Word and, you ready?  Poetry!  Haha, don't laugh, I know I am not your poetry type person but I want to both read and write poetry this year.  So can I share with you my first stab at poetry?   I am not sure if it even constitutes as poetry, but it's my blog!!!

I am drowning in a sea of pity, and if something doesn't happen soon, i might drown.  I am below the water and it is dark, cold, and lonely.  I try and take a deep breath but my body just won't embrace it.  My heartbeat is fast, as if on the next beat it might leap out of my chest.  I am broken and overwhelmed.   And with whatever I can muster up in my voice, I yell "help, deliever me.!"

Wait, is that a glimmer of light that I see?  I feel warmth, but how?  Is my heartbeat slowing down, but why?  I get a feeling I'm not alone, but what?  Is that a whisper I hear?  The Presence is so close that I can feel the hair on my neck stand straight up.  And in a crackling voice I call out, "who are you?"  

"It is I, your Deliverance!"  It is I, your Warmth!"  It is I, your Light!"  It is I, your Companion!"  It is I, your Provider!"  "It is I, your Jesus!"  "Come to Me and I will carry you...to the shore and beyond, Come!"

Friend, He DOES understand me and that is why He came!  He came for me and He came for  you.  But will you let Him carry you?  It is your choice.  He is carrying me!!!