Apple Tree

I made a bad decision.  I made a costly decision.  It can't be undone.  I fell short of the glory of God.

I am out of tears.  I am broken.  I want to get away.  You ever been there?  It sucks.  It hurts.  You are saying to Aslan (the lion from Narnia) how much more of this?  Here is the scene:

“You will have to let me undress you,” says Aslan the Lion.

So desperate was Eustace, even his fear of Aslan’s claws was not enough to stop him from laying down flat on his back. Laying anxious on the ground, here’s what Eustace felt.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. . . .

Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off — just as I thought I’d done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt — and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me — I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on — and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again. . . .

After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me . . . in new clothes.

how much more Lord?  Please, how much more?  He says, "when I AM done."

My childhood was challenging.  And one of my safest places was a tall tree in the backyard.  It was the type of tree that says, "climb me."  And i would go to the top of the tree and allowed the thick branches and the many leaves to cover me.  No one could see me and no one could find me.  And I was there for however long I needed too to feel safe again again.

Well, i made a bad decision.  A costly decision.  Today, I want to climb to the top of a tree and hide for as long as I need to, but my Jesus said no.  You will not.  Here is what you are going to do today.  In fact, this is what you must do everyday.  Please, I am pleading with you JT, this is what you must do.  (This comes from Song of Solomon 2:3 that says - Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men.  In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.)

"JT, you are not climbing the tree today, you are going to sit under My tree.  You are going to sit under My Apple Tree.  Sure, the other trees look good, but this is the only apple tree in the forest.  And yes, they all look safe to climb and hide, but that is not what I am asking you to do.  I am asking you to sit under My Apple Tree and allow my shade to protect you.  The shade from the other trees will fade away, but My Shade never fades.  And you are going to eat MY APPLES.  You are not going to eat the world's apples, they will spoil.  You are not going to eat other people's apples...not what I desire.  You are going to eat MY APPLES.  Because they are right, good, and satisfying not just for today but for eternity.  And this is where you are going to stay."

How much more Lord?  When I AM done!